Welcome To Squirrel Fishing (SqiFi)
The New Catch And Release Sport That
Grabs Squirrels By The Nuts!
Squirrel Fishing
is the NEW SPORT any one can do from the privacy of their home, or office
complex. All you need is a nut (and don't we all know plenty of
those?), a fishing pole (no hooks, just 10lb test line), and the ability
to patiently stalk the terrorists of the rodent family!
Note: This is a catch and release sport.
If you fail to release the squirrel and give them the nut, all the other
squirrels will get you!
The sporting practice of Squirrel Fishing,
the "catching" squirrels and attempting to lift them (you may also assail
them with taunts and derogatory remarks while they are greedily dangling
from their nut) into the air using a peanut tied to a string or fishing
line, and optionally some kind of fishing pole
A fishing pole prevents the need to dangle
the string from your hand, which can result in a squirrel climbing YOU to
get to the nut!.
In most cases, squirrels playfully tug and
grapple with the nuts, while the human squirrel fisherman skillfully
angles with his or her quarry. A delicate approach is required in squirrel
fishing.
Typical Squirrel Grips:
Anyone can pull a nut from the hands of a
squirrel, but the adept squirrel fisherman must tune his craft,
maintaining balance between himself and the squirrel, and eventually
rewarding the squirrel for his valiant competition by ceding the nut.
Ideally, great care is taken not to overfeed squirrels, not to hit them
with nuts, and not to treat them roughly (though verbal abuse is
encouraged).
A squirrel being successfully lifted - you
know that you are a true professional when you can lift a squirrel more
than a foot off of the ground! Extra points can be awarded for:
extra height; depositing a squirrel on an unsuspecting friend or
bystander; or catching more than one squirrel with the same nut at the
same time (photographic evidence is required). Another variation on
the sport is creating a large circle in the grass, and enticing the
squirrel and catching them in the circle, or the variation of catching the
squirrel and depositing them in the circle.
There has been some debate over where
squirrel fishing originated. Some believe it originate at the
Harvard School Of Squirrel Fishing, while other believe that it
originated in the Medieval practice of squirrel hurling by catapult.
Either way, squirrels are not the cute cuddly little creatures that more
perceive them to be! Squirrels are nature's terrorists!
While nuts were originally used as bait,
some squirrel fishers now choose to use prunes or apple slices as bait, by
running fishing line or string through the fruit. This creates a tougher
challenge for the squirrel (always a good thing), as it must chew its way
through the fruit to free it from the line.
The practice of squirrel fishing has since
taken root on college campuses and parks all around the United States. It
was also referenced in the popular American comic strip Zits.
However, we do not suggest mixing your
fishing! For example: while it might be fun to mix squirrel fishing
with shark fishing, it is not politically correct, and is therefore
discouraged except by true professionals.
Enjoy!
How To Fish For Squirrels Video
Instruction By Animal Scientist!
